Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Lessons From My Mother

To my siblings

These precious lessons are especially dedicated to my sister in Penang and my sister-in-law in Melbourne cos both of you have three sons each and being the mother-in-law, it is good to teach your daughters-in-law Por por's secret recipes. Well, as always known, to know the recipes alone is not enough. You must see the owner at work. I had the privilege of seeing her handle a couple of dishes which can come in handy when you have a home away from home.
'Old habits die hard'. Where Por is concerned, there are many. Being the 'teo chew' lady, she is spick and span and there is absolute no compromise where cleanliness is involved. Her table cloths are fit enough to be one's face towels and she is fussy, fussy, fussy. Well, that's why she is incomparable!
To start with, she is adamant that all chinese cooking only tastes best especially if you cook soup and brew dishes when you prepare it over a clay stove.




She says the effect of the charcoal cooking is felt in the 'taste' of the delicacies and nothing is more esteemed in Chinese cooking than the stove!



Look at the burning charcoal. She manipulates the fire by controlling it with a straw fan and the size of the opening to the stove.




Depending on the stage of cooking and the 'readiness' of the dish, she adds the charcoal accordingly. After a dish is done, and if the fire is still strong and good, one can always boil water over it. Nothing comes to waste.
Now I remember that during my confinement period, the confinement lady was also using this stove to boil pots and pots of Chinese herbs for my baths to remove 'air' from my body. You will know one day that the lady will perpetually be boiling 'something' throughout the day my it be chicken soup, herbs, water for the baby, water for the mother and the list goes on. Perhaps it is a good idea cos it may save some 'gas' money. Well, it takes something to make the younger generation of bananas to accommodate the idea. So maybe, we can just forget about it. They tell me the Caucasians are up and about in the malls a week after a child is born. So let it be.



You see, my mother is so neat and proper. She places her charcoal stock in a container accompanied by a pair of tongs for picking the pieces of charcoal. When in her kitchen, one has to be very disciplined. Misplacing and rearranging her equipment in wrong positions will mean non-stop reprimand. She sounds naggy but there are many good habits to acquire. It is a matter of opinion. To be meticulous at her age, is a sure sign that there she is still in control of life.

So on the second day of the new Lunar Calendar, when everyone has left except for my family, she told me that she will be cooking 2 dishes which have always been her forte and they were dishes which we look forward to when we are in town and during festive seasons.

The first dish was the 'sea cucumber ' dish. I do not know how to label it but it is a concoction of pork trotters, sea cucumbers and mushrooms.



When preparing a dish with mushrooms, one has to soak them for a while before cooking. Also, one is not supposed to just add the mushrooms into the whatever dish but to first stir fry it using shallot oil for a few minutes. When ready, dish it aside.



The sea cucumber is a Chinese delicacy and it is pricey. Asked Esther if she could guess the price of the above load and she told me maybe 20 ringgit? Can't blame her cos I have never exposed her and I was just as blur. Por told me that sea cucumbers that crumble under fire is of low grade and we must get ones that do not disintegrate easily. So having so many buddies in town, she somehow manages to get better ones and the above shown is ...RM400.00...only. Now you know why Chinese restaurants dinners cost no less than RM588, RM688, RM788...during the eve of the Lunar Calendar.
So, as usual, she says we must first stir fry it with shallot oil and some peices of ginger and a glove of garlic of course.



After a reasonably good fry, add in the trotters, dark black sauce, light soy sauce, salt and continue to stir fry.






Of course, we have to add some water, little by little and slowly let the ingredients mixed to get the best out. She will be alarmed if you add a lot of water at one go cos the aroma of the dish will disappear. One of the secrets of cooking is to add the water little by little, that you must remember. You then add in some Chinese rice wine (maybe a chinese bowlful) and a little corn starch water to thicken the gravy.

When the stir frying is done over the 'gas' stove, dish it out into a pot.







Then place the pot over the charcoal stove for at least 2-3 hours. When towards the last stage, you can remove the trotters and continue to simmer the sea cucumbers and mushrooms. This is to make sure that the trotters do not go too soft. Remember to keep on stirring to prevent the ingredients from sticking to the pot.








When the sea cucumbers are soft enough for the palette, add in the trotters again and the dish is now ready...licking good!

The second dish. I forgot to take earlier pictures but I managed to take some towards the end of the preparation but still good enough I think...the teo chew lor duck.





Por will never concede to the taste of anyone else's lor duck after hers. Nothing tastes right after her own lor duck...so very typical...no change allowed...so very dogmatic! But she has a point though...it does taste good.

Well, first you have to marinate the duck with the '5 spice' powder. Go to any chinese medicinal hall may it be in KL, Subang Jaya, Brisbane, Melbourne, London and they will have it. I noticed that she had the duck marinated after she had cleaned the duck and kept it in the fridge marinated for a few days. Do commercial stores marinate the tens of ducks overnight? Or bother to marinate them long enough? That's her contention. The lor ducks do not seemed to be well marinated. Thar's why she eats no one else's lor duck heartily.
Oh and you need to stuff the duck with a few pieces of ginger...also known as 'lam kior' in teo chew. I will try and find the English equivalent later.
Then you start the wok with 4 tablespoonfuls of oil adding 4 tablespoons of sugar at the same time. Watch out for the fire and stir the sugar until brown but not burned. Get ready the cover for the wok before pouring in 2 glasses of water. Quicky cover it before it starts to splatter. Oh we will be in trouble if it splatters cos the whole place will so very oily...and she starts to get agitated. So much discipline in the kitchen!
Now when the mixutre boils, add in black thick sauce and gently put in the marinated duck. Make sure the fire is low, and slowly using the frying ladle to stir the sauce onto every part of the duck. If need to , continue to add in some water so that the level is always enough to lightly immerse the duck.The duck will then acquire an even brown clolour and add a strip of pork belly to enrich the concoction. Add salt to taste.




When the duck has reached this stage, remove it from the wok .





There the duck is ready for further instruction!




Meanwhile, get ready some hard boiled eggs and fried toufu. Add these ingredients into the duck sauce and soon it will be brown like what is shown above.
Now you can chop the duck into pieces and add into the sauce . For the aroma of the duck to accentuate, brew it again over a low fire and the clay stove with left over charcoal comes in handy again. Of course if you do not have the charcoal, a gas stove will do. If you do not want to consume the whole duck, you can always keep it in portions and serve it over some meals.

There my mother's recipes for her authentic dishes. For those away from home if you need to have pot luck dinners, perhaps you too can show off a little with Por por's dishes.
Have a good try. And good luck.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Of Sons And Daughters

A thought

It's 6.30am in the morning. Sitting infront of the dressing table getting ready for school I thought about the trip home later today. Another year. Another tight feeling at the heart and stomach. I am well into mid 50s and yet...the Chinese culture so intertwined in our lives makes it almost mandatory that we travel home to our parents and parents in law. Again...which set to go back to...when can I spend the eve with my parents? Because I am a daughter and a wife, I need to spend that auspicious 30th evening of the Lunar Calendar with my in laws? Can I spend this evening with my mother? my father? Is it wrong?Does spending this evening with my parents mean I do not respect my husband?

For 26 years I have dutifully spent the eve with my in-laws. For 26 years my mum has that longing to have me with her. Do I dare go against the tide and walk along my own path? Will I seem defiant? Will I hurt my loved ones?

Yes I will...maybe next year. I will explain that it's time that my parents have me for the eve. ..and the girls. Not for long I believe...and the cycle will go on again. Three daughters...hahaha who will spend the eve with me? I must teach then to break the 'taboo'.

Pondering over this issue I can't help but feel that times have changed...so we too must change. I have these proposals to make:

1. Adopt a rotation system...alternate years. One year here, another there.
2. If there are all girls and no boys, the girls should take turns to be there for their parents for the eve.
3. If you only have boys and no girls , be generous and release some for others. You will be appreciated.

In days like these, just as an ex-student's mum told me yesterday,

" Puan Chong , luckily I have only one daughter. You know sending her to Melbourne for the last few years cost me a bomb and I cannot imagine if I had more."...you see , girls are very well brought up and are given the very best by their parents. Have they no right to having them occasionally for the lunar calendar eve? An only child and by virtue of a marriage has she totally to be on the other side of the fence? Oh how unfair! Do you not think so?

Incidentally, at the toilet this morning,
Puan X : Aya, I have to go back to my in laws la!
Me : Me too.
Puan X : But you have both the families in Johor. My one in Penang and the other in Pahang. Very sien la! I want to be with my mother!

On another conversation with another colleague,
Me : So you're going back too? Your parents and in laws are all gone , aren't they?
Puan Y : Yup I will go see my brother.
Me : What about your husband?
Puan Y : He goes back to his sister's side, I go to my brother's side.
Me : Ayo, the children?
Puan Y : Just last nite he insisted that we put up with his sister. I said no. You go your side , I go my side. The children? They are big enough . Let them decide themselves!
Me : Wa...good for you.
Puan X : Luckily my mother did not even take a single cent of dowry for my wedding. I am mistress of my own life. I am a good wife, a good mother, I earn just as well if not more. So can't I have my own say? Hei my mum said she did not sell me off. I was just being made a wife. That's all. On top of everything else I am more comfortable in my own home la. I just don't see eye to eye the way they do things, I want to be with my siblings la!
Me : Everything sounds familiar. I agree whole heartedly. Kudos !

Times have changed. As the saying goes, the more you give the more you receive. So we must learn to understand circumstances and oblige one another for the sake of peace. This will go on and on till kingdom comes.

Having 3 girls, I too hope things will work out for me one day...the way of peace... in good Chinese New Year spirit.

So the story of mothers' yearning for daughters on the eve of the Lunar Calendar...and my yearning to be with my mum.

To all my friends, students and passersby, here's the best for the year and God Bless.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My Visitor

I am glad to see him again. It is always a good feeling to have your past protege dropping in to say hi and bye.

Last Thursday while seeing to some needs of new teachers in the conference room, a knock drew my attention to the caller. "Someone to see you Maam..."said the office girl, " he says he's your ex-student." Curious, I replied, "I'll be right there."

Dr. Melvyn : Hi Puan Chong.
Me : Hei, you are half your usual size. Wassup?
Dr. Melvyn : Work...36 hours every other day.
Me : You gotta be kidding!
Dr. Melvyn : I have been on my toes for the last two months and this is the first break and that is cos I need to be here to see my mama in the hospital. She 's got her gall bladder removed. And it's only for 3 short days and I've to be back by Saturday. Oh what a life! Is Grace here or in Australia? Tell her to stay there.
Me : Hmm...but she's always on the watch your weight kinda of programme so being here will do her fine!
Dr. Melvyn : Oh...how I hate working life. I wanna go back to my studies.
Me : You mean, you rather sit for exams after exams and being stressed out?
Dr. Melvyn : Aya...exams' nothing la. You study and then regurgitate out ...that's all!
Me : So for those who are so keen to come out and work...you've got a different story for them?
Dr.Melvyn : Teacher, I wanna be a teacher. It's so nice to be in school and teach...I can teach Anatomy, Biology ...anything except being in the hospital ! Everyday I work for I don't know how many hours and before I can close my eyes for a good rest I have to open them again. I trudge to my work place at 5.30am , go round my 28 patients, get their blood tests done , dutifully prepare my reports and then to be 'kantoi' occasionally by my seniors...aya I need rest!
Me : Hei, take it easy. Soon you will be super senior and things won't be too bad.
Dr.Melvyn : I can't see that before my eyes now... Hei teacher, I gotto go. I am glad I managed to drop by cos I don't when is the next time I can see you again. Maybe I can get Alan, Kuan Ming, Caryn and the gang to come see you during Chinese New Year?
Me : Please do.
Dr. Melvyn : Bye
Me : Bye and thanks for the goodies. It's so thoughtful of you. Really, there isn't any need...
Dr. Melvyn : But I want to...I haven't got my first pay cheque but soon.

Melvyn. SPM 1997? or is it 1998? I remember him being in 5 Cekap...other friends include Chun Hau, Elvyn, Clarence, Siew Ling, Wei Ching, Ezanee...they must be doing fine...I hope.
Melvyn related that Seafield churned out 18 doctors in his batch...including Praveen who is serving in Sarawak now.


And he gave me these goodies...it's really not the gift. It's the thought...he being so busy and making a point to drop by to convey good wishes. In the card he kept saying it's Seafield that gave him the foundation to a career and future. Well he may sound 'old fashioned' to some but that's what makes him different..and a good difference.

All the best , Melvyn. God Bless.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

"The Little Singapore"

Subang Jaya is "the little Singapore".



The Malaysians did it again! Yes. It's a great feeling that Malaysia is the cradle of many top scorers all over the world. Perhaps it's the way the children have been nurtured and led especially so in this township called Subang Jaya.

The child of an engineer and a teacher, Haw Sue Hern I believe received her primary education in SJKC Lick Hung, Subang Jaya before being hand-picked by the Asean Scholarship Selection team to continue her secondary years there. I am especially thrilled cos she is the daughter of none other than a teacher from SMK Seafield...our very own Pn Chan ! Congratulations Pn Chan for having nurtured an exemplary child, whom I believe Singapore will call back.

Having said that, I can't help but notice the other girl, Cheong Jia Ee, whom I believe must also have been the protegee of Lick Hung , emerging closely behind Sue Hern and bringing much joy to Malaysia.

Singapore's two top scorers in O-levels and all from our homeland...Malaysia, O tanah air ku...and Subang Jaya!

These days the schools in Subang Jaya have been so hard pressed to do well that someone mentioned that Subang Jaya has turned into a "little Singapore". Parents have gone berserk and frenzied making sure that their children land up in the 'right' school, right stream, right class, right teachers, and ...right tuition! There is also ranking for tuition teachers ! Am I glad I am out of the boiling pot...but I cannot help but remember that I was just as guilty...once upon a time.

Parents go to great lengths to ensure a bright future for their children...but I do not know whether the younger generation view it this way.
Another pertinent question is ; does a child need to be excellent academically? This is an opinion of a parent I spoke to recently:
Me : So, your son is enrolled in a private college?
Parent : Yea.
Me : Science? Arts?
Parent : Science...double Maths...
Me : Oh. Quite a combination.What if he does not achieve that "TER"?No top University?
Parent : Then a lesser one will do.
Me : I like your outlook... rare...not kiasu.
Parent : Aya. don't want to study so hard also never mind la...I have seen many underachievers making it work too...
Me : Hmm...yup...I have seen it too.
Parent : The education part is so that the child grows up to be more refined...
Me : Yup...after all the daddy is so 'full' ya?
Parent : No...it's not that. I mean live a life la.
Two sides of a coin. Know your child. Help your child live a life. That's what life is all about?

Monday, January 12, 2009

A Grand Aunty I Am

Yes...I have a grand nephew this morning at 2 am...a Kan junior.

How time flies. I thought it was only yesterday that the Laus and Kans were staying back to back at SS15 Subang Jaya. The two families had a whale of time with the children running in and out of the houses as if the whole back lane belonged to them.

Kong Kong and Por Por used to make weekend trips to see us and pampered all their grandchildren. Weekends would mean having gala cuisines and great feasting. And shouting names across the lane was the norm. Even our neighbour, the very Lat and wife Faizah were used to out loudness and at times join in the merriment...how time flies.

Por por with the love of her life and Grace on the bouncer

Ky Vern is especially close to Grace then. He saw Grace at birth and was absolutely mesmerised by her...then a tiny tot. Por Por loves Ky Vern to the core of the bone...he being the eldest child of her daughter. I remembered Por Por toiling through the nights to look after his needs during confinement and oh ...what a hard time he gave her. Today, yes...he is a proud papa ...his child born in the wee hours of the morning. Will the new arrival also love to open his eyes in the nights like his papa? This time even the new grandma would not take the risk...it's best to have someone else to look after him!

Baby Yi Jay is a timely gift and arrival by the grace of God. Praise the Lord as even though it was not a painless birth, things work out the way just as hoped...safe and sound ...both mother and child.

Grace, in the medical field having also helped deliver some babies during her training, had guessed that the epidural would help the mother through and so it did. She is excited at the birth too and can't wait to see the new arrival. She remembered her growing years with the cousin kor kor and reminisces about her childhood days and her growing years with him.

Ky Vern and Grace in their primary years...always hand in hand .


Many years later in their teens they are still great pals.


Finally, the grandest event of the year in Penang! And today...another grand event.

Congratulations Vern and May...on the arrival of your new love.

Friday, January 2, 2009

When does a child go to school at 6yrs old?

Before midnite this day every year, the child must be born to go to school at 6 years old.



A friend has been running around the education department frantically for the last half a year in an attempt to register her daughter for standard one when the new term starts on Monday.
Shivorn was born on 3rd January and that disqualifies her theoretically for enrolment into standard one in the new calendar year.
She related that if a child is born on the 1st and 2nd of January of each year then the child automatically goes to standard one at six years old...therefore will be tagged as the youngest child in class.
For children born after midnite today and the years of the same night to come, the child will have to go through a series of formal tests and interviews to be qualified to go to school at 6 years old. To be interviewed at aged 6? Quite a challenge. Only successful ones will have the green light.

So, if a child is born just after midnite in the wee hours of the 3rd of January, the child will be tagged the oldest in class. Many parents have this phobia of having their children being the oldest in class. I wonder why? Actually, a matured child will have the upper hand in class, won't he? Perhaps it's the feeling of missing out an earlier year in school that tugs most at the heart.

I am particularly affected today cos when I went to the bank today, my favourite banker was away waiting to give birth to her first child; then I remembered my dear nephew who is also going to be a daddy in these last few days. So, I cheekily messaged him and reminded him of the story above and guess what? He gave me this message:

'Thanks for the tip...but we have no control over the timing...everything is good in God's timing.'

Amen, wise one...young man.

Thus it is said in Ecclesiastes 3...

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven;

a time to be born and a time to die...

So let's not play God; leave everything in His hands.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Yes...2009!

A Prayer



Thank you dear God for a new year; a new hope and a new grace. Looking forward to going through the year with Your guidance and leading. May this verse be the source of strength for me and my family as we walk through 2009.

Jeremiah 29 :11-14
"For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

I remember putting up this promise on Grace's notice board when I left her in Brisbane in March 2007 when she found it difficult to see her hope and future. But You, the faithful one never ceases to lead her through - time after time. Thank you dear Lord for making the promise a reality throughout 2007 - 2008 in her life.

May we continue to remember the Giver.