A Great Mother

...She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar,

She gets up while it is dark;

She provides food for her servant girls;

She considers a field and buys it;

...She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is

profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at

night.

In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her

fingers.

When it snows, she has no fear for

her household;

for all of them are clothed in

scarlet.

...She is clothed with strength and

dignity;

...She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her

tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her

household

and does not eat the bread of

idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

"Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all."

Proverbs 31 : 14 - 28

That is my mother.

Mama is already 84 but her steely spirit sees her through in life. She is surrounded not by her children at the moment; but by friends and people who call her the gracious one. She is warm, generous, and a great hostess. She opens her home to all and is ever willing to host except that age and a feeble body sometimes forbids her to extend her best.

Grandma brought her in from China from a place called Swatow where the teochews originated and she inherited some of the best practices in life...some of which I have adopted and practised till this day.

Mama has taught me much. She says all girls must be financially independent and not to rely solely on the spouse. She however also feels that it is important to be compatible with one's spouse and so all her girls must go to school and get a good job. That's why I am not left behind. She says a good education is the key to a stable and comfortable marriage and by hook or crook all her daughters must attain it.

( Alas...mama...it is also important to have a husband who can support when your daughters do not work...hahahaha)

Her thoughtful deeds I remember well. When I started teaching in a village called Lenga, she was so excited because we could see each other daily and so to start our good partnership together...she bought me the following:

A thermos flask. She said it was important I carried a good beverage to school each day to mount up my energy for the boisterous children. So every morning she would make me a hot drink and put it into the flask for me. * By the way, I was already 25 then.



Then she got me a canister which looked like the one above. You might not believe it but she cooked soupy meehoon or noodles and said I should always take them hot and a canister with heating features would do the trick.




She took the liberty to get me a rattan bag to hold my exercise books and text books to school each day. Somehow I seemed to be more like a student than a teacher...don't you think so? So till this day I carry a rattan bag to school everyday. Ask the prefects who offer to carry my bag to my room each morning. They can verify. Habits die hard.

She is protective, caring and loving.

No babies and young children should be clothed in synthetic threads ; only cotton is allowed. So she diligently sewed baby clothes and pyjamas for my girls and her instruction was clear- nothing less then cotton.

Notice the cotton tops my babies were put on. She said only cotton threads promise the coolness that benefits a child...babies should not suffer for a mother's foolishness!

So the habit goes on and on and I dutifully caught on the lesson and dressed my girls in cotton pyjamas till they decide otherwise...like now when they put on anything they like. But when they were young , I gave them the best; I hope they realise it.

Grace at 4 in her cotton nighties.

Esther being the second, inherited jie-jie's pyjamas and held on the trend.

Of course Sara was not left out. Putting on cotton pyjamas passed down by the elder sisters.

When I read Shirley Lim Geok Lin's "Monsoon History" in class with my students, I had this thick nostalgia of a familiar setting when my mama insisted that we drank milo before we go to bed...Reading Tennyson at 6 in pyjamas...and we washed our feet for bed...they were all best practices insisted by my dear mama.

No child was allowed to go to bed without pyjamas and I still sew and make pyjamas for myself and my girls till this day...cotton ones ; no compromise. And so no child of mine could go to bed without pyjamas too. Ask them.

When we were young, no child of hers was allowed to sleep without first getting his/her feet washed, dried and everyone was talcum-powdered before goodnights were bade. I did that to my girls when they were between one month old till primary school? After that they don't listen to me anymore... to their detriment. I have not gone to bed a single night without washing my feet till this day. Ask my husband.

A typical teochew lady with uncompromised cleanliness and neatness. Visit my mother today in her home and you will know what I mean. I am afraid of her visits to my house. Her scrutiny can destroy me and send strong guilts through me. I am ashamed that at her age she still beats me flat at neatness. Her table cloths are fresh and clean enough to wash one's face and and is white ; not grey in colour.

Her mops are white. She scorns at the ones I have at home and often chided that grey-coloured mops don't clean but dirty the floor. So I soak them in clorox before she comes to spare myself of the agony of the great stare.

But she teaches well and right. Who can deny that?

Last weekend, I made my monthly trip home and saw my dear parents. Her maid left her some months ago and while waiting for the new one to arrive, she took the chores of the home to the challenge. I was saddened at the condition of her feet...swollen due to intense movements. I left my maid there and insisted that she be there till help comes. I was sorry that I had to leave her like that.

Her generosity and intense love for her children still stood so strong when I saw her rushing to the wet market to get hold of whatever fresh fish she could get for me. She told me that the ones in Subang Jaya are inedible and of poor quality. After Muar and the deep sea fishes, nothing can ever taste right in her taste buds. She is a fish lover and consumes fish in teochew style-steamed. So when the fish is not fresh enough she doesn't take them.

After getting 8 pieces of the pomfret fish, she delightfully cleaned and placed them in plastic bags one by one for me to bring home. She was happy that there were fishes to buy. She was afraid they might all be sold out. She took lock, stock and barrel of all the fishes.

See her standard. Every piece cleaned, scaled and well-stored. That's mama.

As if the fishes were not enough, she bought me a 'kampung' chicken. She says Robert works too hard and insists that I double- boil the chicken pieces with some Chinese herbs. She took the effort to pack the herbs and cut the chicken into small pieces ready any time for boiling.

When I saw my mother cleaning the chicken so carefully and neatly, despite her swollen feet, I could only admit that indeed the depth of her love cannot be fathomed...as deep as the ocean. I ask myself if my love for my children can be compared. She packed them well.

Next she did this. She concorded the chinese herb mixture and told me that all I had to do was to take a pack of chinese herbs and boil it with a pack of chicken. Now you believe me when I related that she prepared my beverages and meals for school when I first taught in Muar? By the way none of my siblings had the privilege of staying with her. I was the privileged one. They were too busy elsewhere. And they are still busy now. It's time to visit dear parents more often, dear brothers and sisters.

And of course my supply of Chinese rice wine. She has a contant supply from a lady who has a forte in making them. She says cook it with ginger and chicken ... good for health.

Stories about my dear mother. When can it ever end?

Happy Mother's Day...Ah Mak.

The Good Lord preserves you.