REGRET (1)

Regrets I've had a few...so sang Frank Sinatra in his all time favourite , My Way.

And no exception here.

Auntie Tan in her late 80s used to chat with me across the fence and once lamented that it was getting more difficult as each day went by for her to visit her grandchildren in the States.
Do you know it is a great feeling to chat with her in the authentic teo chew dialect ? Somehow the sing song dialect connects us emotionally and the sharing becomes extra meaningful.

Echoing her words ..." wa kai mei kok kai soon ka wa tah teow chew wei, tapi wa chit kor kai soon ka wa tah huang ngiah wei "

(My grandchildren in the States speak to me in the teow chew dialect whereas my grandchildren here speak to me in the Malay Language). Does it sound alien or familiar?

One of the greatest errors I have committed in my lifetime is not trying hard enough to converse with my children on a daily basis using Mandarin or any of the dialects. So in other words, they are bananas. Chinese, but understand almost nothing in Chinese. To the public, this is sometimes inexcusable. Try combing through the streets of Hong Kong, Taiwan and China and face the wrath of the restaurateurs when they speak to you in Cantonese or Mandarin and you reply in English ! Unimaginable! That look again.

The following are purely experiential and are situations which should evoke something in you:

In a hospital in a predominantly white populated area, daughter no.1 was given the task of seeing to the need of an old Chinese patient,

No.1 : Por por nay yau sek yoke mo? ( granny, are you taking any medication?)

Patient : Yau. Ngoh yau sek chu yoke. ( Yes I do take pork)

(The error lies in the intonation of the term yoke...No.1 pronounced it as yoke which connotes meat whereas it should have been uttered as york denoting medication)

On another day,

Old Lady : Ta pain, ta pain...(What's she saying?...No.1 told her white contemporaries that the patient is probably complaining of too much pain)

No.1 : Por por nay pintoh tung? ( Where is the pain? in odd cantonese)

Old Lady : Kei lei, kei lei ... (pointing to her backside...in hakka)

(No.1, with her mouth agaped suddenly realised she could be saying she wants to do the big business cos ta pain when in hakka could mean just that!)

On another occasion, when conversing with maternal grandma in teo chew over the phone :

Por por : Mama lei? (where's your mum?)

No.1: Mama boh eng. ( mum is busy)

Por Por : Kioh mama lai! ( call your mum to the phone!)

Mama : Mak, chor ni ? ( what is it mum?)

Por por : Chor ni lu kai chaw ngiah tah lu bog eng lei?

(why is your daughter saying you are hopeless?)

(Mistake again lies in the intonation of the word eng...)

The mistakes we can laugh , but it's a shame isn't it?

Look at the illustration below:

At the tender age of 14, daughter No.2 was given the task of heading the above project in the all too familiar science lab of the school. To her it was not too big a challenge when compared to the task of ordering a plate of noodles in chinese... Her lingua franca with poor por por is none other than the example below :

Por por : Ling Ling lu sudah makan belum?

No. 2 : Por por, sudah.

Por Por : Mama mana?

No. 2 : Mandi...

She can only converse in that way with her maternal grandparents at that time.

Daughter No.3 is less unfortunate cos of her keen interest during Chinese lessons conducted during POL (people's own language) classes. In her broken delivery she still gets messages across in Mandarin to the delight of the older folks. Thanks to POL classes.

Paternal grandparents speak (spoke) English. At home with them.

At Asia Cafe this afternoon I asked No. 3 if she thinks her children should learn the formal Chinese Language to which she answered "Yes" but only for communicative purposes. She says she still thinks her children should go through mainstream schools where English, though a second language, is more prominently used. She informed me that her contemporaries in school who were from Chinese vernacular schools are highly challenged by the complexities of the English grammar. So the learning of English might be compromised.

(Little did she know that that was what I precisely said to the headmaster of Tadika Alpha then. I was contemplating her attending Chinese class and the qualm of the comprise in learning English. How wrong could I be?)

I have yet to convince her that it is not all the time true. I have seen many from the Chinese medium schools excelling in the English Language too. It would be another magnanimous task convincing her.

My daughters are quite unfortunate cos their parents use English as the first language in the home and having a Filipino help aggravates the dilemma. It was too tough then to have to use so many lingua within the home . Take the easy way...just speak English. When the adults take the easy way out , it can be quite detrimental as no effort can be spared in attempting an achievement. So, children obey your parents. When they send you to Mandarin classes, learn it. You will be eternally grateful.

In all honesty, I did try. I diligently sent No. 1 to a neighbour to learn Mandarin in good old SS15 but my not so strong spirit gave up when she scowled and protested all the way to the tutor's house for 3 years. In a nutshell, I surrendered. When I gave up, I also face the consequences...sigh...tough.

Middle child had the worst brunt. When I ignored the failed attempt with No. 1, I did not even bother to start with No.2. Quite short-sighted eh? That is why she knows almost no Chinese. I tried some redeeming effort whenever she is with me in long distance travels...listen to Teresa Teng and on Sundays tune in to 106.7 on the way to church.

If you can bear with the songs on 106.7 (Sundays 7 -9am) you can be salvaged...to the bananas.

Food for thought.