Strategically placed on my dressing table on a tiny piece of paper,
"Striving to better, oft we mar what's well" .
This line has been a grim reminder to me each morning before I leave for school to look at my students with more compassion and patience in my dealings with them.
No. 3 gave it to me. Mother and daughter have many issues to handle everyday and this is one of them.
Mother : Can you explain the implication?
Daughter : Well, sometimes in trying to secure what we think is the ultimate, we fumble.
Mother : So, what's the issue now?
Daughter : Why do you always think you know what is best for me and my jie-jie?
Mother : Cos I am older and more experienced. You all are still young,
naive and have not gone through much. Also , I am afraid that you may just make the wrong moves and suffer from the consequences.
As I grow not so young by the day, it has dawned upon me that I can no more take absolute control of the decisions my girls are making. It's kinda of sad as you realise that well...they do not have to follow your instruction .
That they just don't listen to you all the time. Well...sometimes they also may be right and I can be wrong ?
Mother : You're not gonna do medicine?
Daughter : No way. I can't stand the sight of blood!
Mother : So you wanna do the Arts?
Daughter : Yea
Mother : On one condition. Offer Economics and Mathematics
Daughter : But I hate Maths!
Mother : Deal or no deal?
Daughter : I want to do Psychology.
Mother : No...do Law or Economics
Daughter : Ma!
You see...we look at things differently. Mother feels that she ought not to close the doors too tight. She also believes in the Multiple Intelligence Theory
...that when young she needs to develop both sides of the brain. So there...do Maths, Literature in English, Economics, Law...both sides on.
Last Sunday (10 August) while daughter was holidaying in Bali,
Daughter : Ma, please don't let me know the results today ok?
After 4 hours of waiting...finally, mother texted daughter;
Mother : You wanna know it?
Daughter : Bad eh?
Mother : 3A 1B
Pause
Daughter : Maths, huh?
Mother : Yea
Long pause.
Daughter : Okay la. Nvm right mummy. It's not very bad right. :(
She has a record of perfect score from UPSR...till now.
Mother : Celebration! Don't look at that B see all your As!
Happy for you dear child. Enjoy Bali!
Again who has the last say ? But one thing I know. At times I need to hear the heart beat of my child and trust her instincts. But... so what if it's 1 A less? Life long learning. Ahem.
Mother now has a change of heart. Daughter, you can do anything you love...Psychology, Law, Economics, Mass Communications, Human Resource
and
why not be an English teacher?
With my blessings.
Guess where no.3 is ? She already had that look from the age of 5 in Tadika Ladybird...smug
Well Done Sara, you will always be the baby of the house.
10 comments:
Oops I accidentally deleted the first comment. Darn the lagging PC.
Hi Pn Chong. The quote is taken from Act 1, Scene 4 of King Lear where Lear's evil eldest daughter condemns her husband for being a coward, to which her not-so-evil husband replies: "How far your eyes may pierce I can not tell:
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well."
I suppose it means that we always want the ultimate and in the process we neglect or even ruin what is already good enough.
Forgive my limited English and I think Sara does have multiple intelligence.
Take care.
I'm skeptical whether you would stumble upon this. But I'm keeping faith. :)
Hey Pn Chong!
Hsien Yoong here. I'm one of the students that's still studying in Seafield. ( for the final year: form 5 ) To be honest as Im typing this comment down I'm wondering if you would recognize me. Ha-ha.
Anyway back to the point. Personally, I think it's really a good move for teachers like you ( so far, only you that I know of ) to put up a blog and just journalize everything single thoughts or experiences you've been through and like you've mentioned on your first post, to inspire.
I can gallantly proclaim that indeed your posts have inspired me. No joke, it did.
It inspired me in such a way that I was struck again and again for each and every post on your blog that I've ran through. I was struck by the thought that as a student, I would only and only look at a teacher through one, single angle. And it's pretty obvious. I would only look at a teacher as a teacher. Nothing else.
And then reading your posts on your motherhood and posts on how much you care for the school, students and your family. Conviction came upon me and I felt guilty for condemning some of the teachers I dislike even to the point of total disrespect.
Your blog became a turning point of my view towards a teacher.
Thanks to you Pn Chong. I've determined that for the remaining 2 and a half months that I still have in Seafield. I will ( unless my self-consciousness fails me ) pay full respect to all the teachers in school and give them what students should have given to teachers right from the start. No not respect nor full concentration in class. But a student's LOVE towards a teacher.
This, I promise you.
Your posts have reminded me of how much my mom loves and me and I love her too.
Just want you to know I appreciate this blog of your's and am looking forward for more inspiring posts!
Oh and before I go, ( I know this sounds weird, considering our age differences and our experience ) I would like to give you a word of wisdom.
Pretty simple actually, just suddenly came to me. Here goes:
If God brings you to it, He will definitely bring you through it.
I hope you get what it means.
Oh and for your No. 1, 2, 3. This particular bible verse: Proverbs 6:20.
Done, God bless you and your family Pn Chong. :)
p/s: This HAVE to be the longest comment I have ever wrote.
I can't help but second whatever Hsien Yoong said in his comment before mine. It certainly is a sacrifice, what you did.
True, we, the young ones may be naive and we may make mistakes in our decisions, but doesn't everybody? I'm sure that you are who you are because of your ups and downs in life too. Think "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.
Having said that, I know for sure that a mother knows whats best for her children and although I'm not a mother nor will I ever be(gender incompatibility), deep down inside, I strongly believe that mothers are the wisest people. Kudos to you, Puan Chong!
You are definitely doing God's work by inspiring us with your posts. Keep it up. God bless.
Dear Pn.Chong,
As a former student of Seafield, it saddens me that till today a preference for "Science" is being upheld.
Are Science-stream students really 'smarter' [either IQ or EQ or otherwise] than non-Science students?
Although, I'm glad that you've let your daughter pursue her passion. After all, a happy graduate is one who will find the most success in life.
Sam : Thank u for the info.Sweet of u
Hsien Yoon & SHIKE : Wow. Actually both of U inspire me. Come visit me and talk.
Mei : Thru personal experience it is really fine if u develop both brains up to form 5. So go for science stream first. After that go for the innate strength meaning everyone has a natural inclination towards the left or right brain. Go for it.Then u w b at ur best.
But impt here is dev first to the max. then u specialise. At a later time i w share in the blog y it is impt u go to science stream first.
Puan Chong!
We'll have to go through this one day. Bahh realized.
BTW, excellent writing in your blog.
Hi Keith . Thanks
i wish more teachers would blog.
i'm going to be a fresh grad teacher here in melbourne and hearing your stories and words of wisdom is truly inspiring.
thank you.
Hi Stefie : just got back from spore and spoke to some Methodist girls' school teachers who told me that they are still not used to the idea of teachers blogging...
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