Heartaches ?

Of Parents and Children

Reflecting upon solutions to challenges faced by parents I agree with some and disagree with others. Actually, I empathize with the challenges parents face in school. I would always end up with this question : what would I do if they were my own biological children?

Case1 :

A hyper-anxious mum walked into the room and asked if her child has been misbehaving; otherwise why is he being punished by writing hundreds of lines? Has he been skipping class or has he been negligent in his homework? Has he been...the list was long.

Mama decided with papa that she will take no pay leave for a period of time just to make sure the child acquire all the right values and then make a better go in life...

I told her not to quit. Really the problem of the child does not begin here nor is it going to end here. How long can one stop a problem from cropping? How long can one cover the child?Perhaps it is better to allow him to face the consequences and grow up and out of mischief. I also told her there will be more heartaches later in his walk. So anxious the mama...only to find out that he was rude to the discipline teacher. Not much of a problem in class.

Mamas go through much to think of solutions and sacrifices whenever they smell trouble. Children seldom do the similar for mamas. Do mamas need to be like that? Maybe we should allow them to be burnt and face the consequences; that's the best way to learn.

Case 2:

Can I take my son out of school for a period of time? He's been a trouble at home and I believe in school too. I need to have him around me all the time. He's only afraid of me; takes only my instructions. He fools around with others at home but heeds me. But I am often outstation and there is no one to control him. I need him to be with me, learn my trade, learn my values and learn basic skills of existence. I cannot do that unless he sticks around me. Teacher, I am not afraid if he misses exams but I will be afraid if I lose a son. Exams can be taken anytime ; I can go private but I need to have my son, my way.

I like this father. He has guts and strong reasoning skill. Yes, he needs to have his son back. I am also sorry for him. He has gone through nights of agony to make a decision of this nature. I hope the son will return to him ... body and soul.

These are only a couple of cases. The list increases by the year. But that's life. Sometimes when you think you have brought up your children the right way and sound family values, they thwart away in the company of strangers and work place.

But there is hope, I choose to believe.

Somewhere , somehow all good that has been drilled, taught and practised will surface in their lives; some at 20 others at 30 and even 40 when they become adults, husbands, wives, mothers and fathers. It is consoling to find solace in the good book as we wait upon this :

Love is very patient and kind,

never jealous or envious,

never boastful or proud,

never haughty or selfish or rude.

Love does not demand

its own way.

it is not irritable or touchy.

It does not hold grudges and

will hardly even notice when

others do it wrong.

It is never glad at injustice, but rejoices whenever

truth wins out.

Let love be your greatest aim.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-6

Hanging on the wall of my room in school is a hand-written expression of these verses which daddy gave me the first year of our marriage. I look at the verse when I am beyond myself at times and receive calm by reading them.

The epitome of the message:

Let Love Be The Greatest Aim

May parents dwell on this hope forever and ever for their children.